Written by:
Kasey Taylor
Email: Cameronkaseytaylor@gmail.com
Twitter: twitter.com/kasey_taylor
Okay, so we’re back again. This week we have a guys elimination. This could be curtains for Mike and Leroy (I know I called him Adam last week, my apologies). They have to win this week or else they are definitely going to the JUNGLE. And unless CT and Adam win the challenge, that’s probably who they will face. Otherwise you could see a Evan and Nehemiah JUNGLE appearance. Basically two out of these three teams is bound for the JUNGLE.
With the ladies…it’s really about two teams: Cara Maria and Laurel and Paula and Ev. Jenn and Mandi really have no shot. They just aren’t athletic enough. I know they won last week, but to me that was a fluke. When it comes to a final challenge I really don’t see them beating one of the aforementioned teams. Jonna and Jasmine are just too volatile to even make the final challenge, let alone compete to win.
With that let’s get to the recap…
-I caught the tail end of Teen Mom before this. When these derelicts run out of money can we get them involved with the Challenges? Maybe a triple threat Cutthroat style matchup with Real World/Road Rules people, Jersey Shore, and Teen Mom. Tell me you wouldn’t watch that…
-Laurel is starting to lay the groundwork with CT. Mandi is not happy about it. Adam is talking about who is hooking up in the house. Uh Adam…you and Jenn did not hook up. She kissed you on the cheek and then dissed you to all her friends. You can’t lie about what happened when cameras were there to capture everything. Just cause you envisioned it happening doesn’t mean it actually happened.
-CT is laying on the nice guy routine with Laurel. And the connection is “real” according to Laurel. Laurel comes down and Mandi is pissed that she lost out on CT. I don’t know if you smell that, but I smell a cat fight. Mandi says she doesn’t care…she cares. I know women and I know that she cares. Evan knows it, Kenny knows it, even Helen Keller knows it. This will make an amazing JUNGLE coming up.
-If you aren’t scared of CT, then why didn’t you go against him in the last JUNGLE Wes? You had the chance, but you chose Brandon and Ty. I think you’re scared. And you should be. Ev is actually sounding smart for the first time in her life. She knows this plan to throw Evan against CT is ridiculous. It’s not going to work. Even if CT and Adam don’t win, they will beat Evan and Nehemiah
-Nehemiah and Evan are having a meeting of the minds. This isn’t going too well. Nehemiah spouting his philosophy about why he’s here and how it reflects his spirituality. I find this laughable. Then he spouts his 2nd reason…money. That’s more like it Nehemiah. Stop acting like you’re so much better than everyone else when you are the exact same. You’re here for the greenbacks.
-Kenny is talking about his mojo. I, as his #1 fan, hope he reclaims the mojo on this challenge. I’m guessing from this foreshadowing happening that mojo will be found.
-So this challenge is similar to the last challenge where they had to hang on that pole and take the ride. Jasmine lets us know she’s afraid of heights. Don’t spend that money Jasmine.
-Mandi wants to keep CT out of going first. Jenn is putting CT first. Jenn is rolling with the numbers and knows if she goes against the plan, Wes and the rest of the men will send her ass right to the JUNGLE. Mandi wants to have her skull crushed, eaten, and regurgitated so she doesn’t want to put CT first.
-I like Leroy’s strategy. Keep your mouth shut and sneak your’re way in. I like it. Heck, it worked for Jenn on Fresh Meat II and Cutthroat. It’s a smart strategy and with all the attention on everyone else, this team could sneak into the final. I was totally wrong about Leroy and Mike going to the JUNGLE, which happens from time to time.
-Kenny wants to win a challenge. He has DQd every challenge, this is his chance to change it. Jenn and Mandi put him close to the end with CT and Adam going first. They have to win or else they are going to the JUNGLE.
-CT and Adam will not be going to the JUNGLE this week. That was insane. This just solidifies they are the team to beat.
-Why is Jasmine on that harness? She should be jumping since she’s so small and Jonna is so long. Oh well, these two seem to do ok, but that cannonball looked pretty nasty. No two gees for you two girls. At least it wasn’t a JUNGLE week for the girls or else these two would be going back.
-Leroy knows his JUNGLE time is coming. If CT and Adam aren’t going, then he knows that they are. TJ doesn’t like this Jesus stuff. Me neither. Kinda silly. But I guess when you have no TV, no internet, no nothing, this kind of stuff entertains you.
-Leroy and Mike look good, but not good enough to beat CT and Adam. Just staying out of harms way until the next guys JUNGLE.
-Laurel and Cara Maria are up. They get good distance but Cara Maria can’t swim because of some ribbon around her neck. Cara Maria has 1,001 excuses all the time. Why do I have a feeling we will be hearing some more excuses out of her? Like when she keeps her team from winning the final challenge? She will have a few ready to go I bet.
-Wes and Mr. Beautiful need a win. And after these messages we will find out if they get it.
-Wes and Kenny are way too far out from that buoy. CT and Adam won this one too. But at least they couldn’t DQ.
-Mike says Paula has everything you could ask for…like eating disorders and daddy issues. Then Paula and Ev head up to the platform. Paula still scared of heights. All these challenges and the fear still has not been conquered. Kinda sad when you think about it. They do a sick faceplant dismount and don’t look that impressive. You are not the strongest girl team. I’m not even sure we have a strongest girl team…they all have weaknesses.
-Johnny Backpacks and Tyler are trying to get a better time than CT and Adam. Judging by that super early dismount, this won’t be the team to win. Johnny is all talk when it comes to strategy and didn’t deliver. Hopefully Kenny and Wes did enough to send CT and Adam to the JUNGLE.
-Wow, Jenn and Mandi start off horrid looking, but they might actually win this challenge. These two keep on surprising me. Or is that the editing to make it seem like they won when they actually didn’t win.
-Evan and Nehemiah aren’t talking. Don’t make fun of his spirituality Evan or else he won’t talk to you, which sounds awful. Now Evan is throwing the challenge without Nehemiah knowing. This could end badly. That dismount looked pretty nasty. Nehemiah is swimming for his life and Evan is taking his time. Not only is he taking his time, he is rubbing Nehemiah’s face in it.
-Jasmine is pissed for Nehemiah. Evan and Nehemiah are not talking. We are confirming why these two are Rivals as Nehemiah just threw his life vest at Evan. He’s stalking Evan like he is Kimbo Slice. Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t he know this was part of the plan? Wes concocted it and they are best friends. Now settle down, you’ll enjoy your first time in the JUNGLE I promise.
-Laurel and Cara Maria win the $2k. Nehemiah lets us know that he has the biggest bitch on his team. Nehemiah could actually quit, he looks that angry. Nothing is out of the realm of possibility. He may even sit down and start meditating. He may do some kung fu on Evan. Evan may pop his baby out and then sit on Nehemiah.
-The foreshadowing proves correct once again…Kenny and Wes win. Mr. Beautiful Kenny cuts an amazing wrestling promo. These guys could be an amazing tag team one day. I was a huge wrestling fan when I was a kid. These guys could be a new Road Warriors or Rockers. Hopefully I didn’t just lose my audience. Am I the only wrasslin’ fan? Just me…ok moving on…
-CT is ready to go to the JUNGLE. Evan and Nehemiah are talking like they’re going to beat each other up. These two may not even make it to the JUNGLE. Wes is standing up for his boy Nehemiah. Wes tells Evan to walk away. Now he is trying to keep him calm as they go into the JUNGLE. I’m a little upset that these two didn’t fight. Nehemiah should be thankful because for all that bluster, I think Evan would kill him.
-A little romance is brewing between Laurel and CT. They’re watching a couple of birds or something. CT is not going to rest until he bangs every girl in the house or crushes a skull and eats it. Whichever comes first. Helmet hair Mandi is trying to make herself feel better about getting left by CT. I don’t think it is working. I think now she is starting to care.
-Deliberation time. We know what’s happening here. CT and Adam are going to the JUNGLE. And judging from last week’s season preview it looks like CT and Adam are going to win. Problem with editing here. Going to make this JUNGLE much less exciting. Johnny Backpacks is talking about how he isn’t afraid of CT. Johnny Backpacks should keep his mouth shut considering CT sent him home from Cutthroat. Tyler likes the chances to get rid of CT. I do not. Not this season. CT seems different.
-Mandi is calling out CT for his two-timing behavior. But she doesn’t care remember? If he wants Laurel he can have her. Mandi is over it and doesn’t care. CT lets us know what always happens with Mandi…sleep with her and then you regret it. Mandi is about to cry and go running into the arms of Wes. That’s the wrong move Mandi.
-CT comes back to talk to Mandi and Wes. I like how CT is calling out Wes for his nonsense. Wes is jealous because Mandi doesn’t want to sleep with him. Mandi is crying and bleeping. But she doesn’t care about CT and Laurel hooking up. Wow…I can’t believe what is coming out of Mandi’s mouth right now. She sure doesn’t remember it because she is blacking out right now. Blacking out so bad she decided to share a bed with Wes.
-This is scary what Wes is doing to Jasmine. Reminds me of when David pulled that blanket off of Tami way back in the day. But all these people are drunk and having a good time so no one is going to bat an eyelash. Now, Mandi and Wes are hooking up because that is what friends who are beautiful do. I don’t think either of you are beautiful, but that’s just me.
-Tyler is telling it like it is. So happy he is on this show. Gives us a rundown of all the hooking up and I agree wholeheartedly with everything he says. We need a gay guy like Tyler on the show to keep it real. This love hexagon that is taking place right now is really gross. Or is it a pentagon. I’m not sure…geometry was a while ago for me.
-Adam and Jenn are talking about the JUNGLE. Jenn wants to keep Adam around. I don’t know why since she isn’t blackout drunk.
-Here we are back in the JUNGLE. This Swiss Family Robinson house looks intense. They have to do some Ninja Warrior stuff in this JUNGLE. They have to move a pole all the way down to the finish line. This doesn’t bode well for heavy Evan and uncoordinated Nehemiah. I predict CT and Adam crushing this challenge like a skull. And then having that skull for dinner.
-Barf Adam…50,001 reasons to come back. Do you think he watches this now after what Jenn said about him last week and want to punch himself in the face? And how did Jenn forget about what she said last week? Are the producers putting her up to this to make it seem more interesting? Last week she couldn’t have been less into Adam and now she wants him to come back? Strange.
-Evan and Nehemiah are looking soft. After they lose this challenge Evan needs to have his baby and get back into the gym pronto. Nehemiah is carrying this team right now and looks in better shape. CT and Adam are making short work of this challenge. Until soft spot Adam slows everything down. Slow enough to take a commercial break.
-CT and Adam get over the hump. Adam puts it together and now they are really starting to move. CT and Adam put them away and they lessened the numbers against them. Adam doesn’t want to be friends with CT yet.
-Nehemiah is a little disappointed and rightfully so. Evan didn’t show up in primo condition and now they are paying for it. Kenny is a little upset that his boy is going home. Now someone else is going to have to send CT home. I appreciate Evan taking the blame. He knows he was the one who didn’t show up for the JUNGLE.
-Looks like next week Jenn gets a partner for Rivals II by picking a fight with Cara Maria. She better hope she doesn’t get sent home. We are getting close to the end and I will see you all next week.
Kasey
