Written by:
Kasey Taylor
Email: Cameronkaseytaylor@gmail.com
Twitter: twitter.com/kasey_taylor
Welcome back. I have so many questions before this week’s episode starts. Does Jasmine weigh more than 87 pounds? Did Evan hurt his baby with all this physical activity? Has Paula finally hit rock bottom and slept with Mike? Will Jonna think twice about picking out that afro again? Has CT crushed any skulls and eaten them? Will Kenny sell me his shirt? Okay, that’s enough questions, let’s get into the recap…
-Ah the helicopter shots of the beach. Gotta make a little money for the travel bureau of Costa Rica. Why are they partying at the beach? Trying to change it up a bit? Wanted to get some more nudie shots? I only have questions and no answers.
-Oh really Jenn? You can see why people vacation here? Seriously? Is that something you always wondered about before coming here? Oh hey there’s a beach, maybe a good vacation spot. Or are you the person that only goes camping? You know camping, the vacation for poor people.
-Kenny doesn’t want to be the reason why they lose…FORESHADOWING! That means they’re losing the challenge. And now I know why they are going to the beach, an opportunity to talk of ways to get CT and Adam off the challenge. But let’s be real, they care about getting CT off, Adam poses no threat.
-Johnny…I believe you won’t be tearing the roof off of any bitch. You’re going to have to stay away from the JUNGLE because we know how you turn into Johnny Backpacks when you go to an elimination. It’s almost to the point where I’ll trust Tyler more than Johnny Backpacks.
-Mike gets pantsed during the obligatory, text, guess what the challenge is etc. It’s almost to the point where I’m not even going to talk about this crap anymore. They get more and more ridiculous throughout the season. Let’s just agree that I won’t keep you up to date on these any longer unless something totally amazing happens. Like CT crushing a skull and eating it.
-Katelynn…you are not a good competitor. I’ve never seen you compete. Every challenge I’ve seen you in something bad has happened to you or you’ve DQd. You show how you’re a competitor, not talk about it. In a former life you were a 90 pound wuss, so don’t tell me about your competitive skills.
-Evan is laying out his alliance and strategy. They want to try and get CT out of here. Good luck…the guy is not a man…he’s a machine. Why yes “Rocky IV” is my favorite of all the Rocky movies. And yes I have the soundtrack. And yes I yell “DRAGO” when I lift weights. So what?
-What? Ev is disagreeing with Wes? Say it ain’t so! But she does make a good point about Evan being fat and out of shape. This isn’t the brightest of strategies, but it is Wes running the strategy so I understand. The guy always tries to make a move too soon and it always bites him in the ass. The only this time has done well was on the Duel and Fresh Meat. And the only reason he made it on Fresh Meat is because that one team forgot their flags in an elimination challenge.
-Oh, truth or dare. Always sounds fun…never delivers. Everyone thinks it will be scandalous, but it never is. You think you’re going to see some crazy stuff, but you just see a bunch of drunken buffoons. EXCEPT ON THIS SHOW!
-Wow Paula and killer Ty just made out. That was gross. Apparently they don’t like each other. I was unaware. Or didn’t care. You decide.
-Mandi and Laurel are “making out” aka closed mouth kissing. That was definitely not making out. That was two girls who thought they’d makeout, then thought better of it and just pushed their lips against each other for a few seconds.
-CT just got naked and jumped into the pool. The only reason he did this was to get the girls in heat. Mandi and Laurel are now definitely going to get whatever he has, if you catch my drift. Just kidding CT…please don’t crush my skull and/or eat it
-Leroy says he’s not scared of CT. I’ll believe it when I see it. However, these two teams are almost identical. Scrawny partner on one side, buff stallion on the other side. Did I just use the term “buff stallion?” Why am I typing this? Why did I not just delete and start over? Let’s just move along.
-Today’s challenge is called hammock crawl. Seems easy, but what do I know? I’m the guy that always manages to fall out of a hammock getting in and getting out of it.
-Ooh, the Mensa members are making strategies. Watching Jenn and Mandi try to come up with a strategy that works is always chuckle inducing. I don’t even want to see them try to split up a check at a restaurant.
-Paula and Ev are wondering if they should put CT first. They don’t know if they should or not. My advice is if you like your skull…put him last.
-If you flip on your word you have nothing in this game. Those are the words that just came out of Ev’s mouth. The person who has flipped on her word almost every time she’s been in this game. Maybe that’s why she’s never won a challenge.
