Written by:
Kasey Taylor
Email: Cameronkaseytaylor@gmail.com
Twitter: twitter.com/kasey_taylor
Okay, so before I get started this week I have to make a correction. Last week I incorrectly stated that Ev had never won a challenge. I quickly remembered (after it posted of course) that she had won Inferno 3 and The Island. In my defense, Inferno 3 was almost 5 years ago and I have no recollection of her being on that show. Secondly, on The Island she basically sold her soul to Johnny Backpacks in order to win. Still don’t like her.
But this week we have a female JUNGLE and we are starting to get down to the nitty gritty. We are beginning to separate the men from the boys and the women from the girls. The weak teams are not going to be able to hide any longer. For the women it’s basically Laurel and Cara Maria or Ev and Paula going to take this thing. I’m giving a slight edge to Laurel and Cara Maria on account of Paula not having the big game experience.
For the men everyone is playing second fiddle to CT and Adam at this point. If Kenny can get his mind right, they could pose a challenge. And if they can stay out of the JUNGLE, I like Johnny Backpacks and Tyler as a dark horse candidate to claim victory. Mike and Leroy will NOT win. Mark my words.
-We start off with some sort of drinking card game. I can only imagine how boring this place must get after a few weeks. This actually seems like a good time though. Adam lets us know he has a crush on Jenn and has for a few of these challenges. This will end in a drunken makeout, Adam getting rejected, or the plotline will be forgotten. I’m personally going to guess B.
-And now the naked drunken debauchery begins. Jenn says get naked since you only live once. But video lives forever. Just ask Mandi’s mother. Starting to look like Caligula out there. Tyler, Laurel, Jenn, Mandi, and someone else all got naked in that pool. Meanwhile CT was sizing everyone up to see if anyone’s skull looked particularly tasty.
-Sarah is not feeling too strong about Katelynn as her partner. I wouldn’t feel that strong about her either. Even though she is a strong competitor. But judging from the previews I smell FORESHADOWING!
-Jenn is dropping some knowledge on Jasmine and Jonna. Jenn is talking about how she has never seen an elimination in the last three challenges. She’s quite the politician. And she brings up a good point, she does manage to stay away from trouble quite often. Hopefully she will have to go in soon.
-Jonna only wants to change Jasmine’s negativity…I’d change the fact that she is not an athlete whatsoever. Or change that she weighs less than 87 pounds. Or change that she’d be able to bench press 400 pounds. Or change something other than her negativity. But that’s just me.
-Jasmine has crazy neighbor voice. When she gets loud she sounds like every crazy neighbor you or I have ever had. You have most likely never met this neighbor, but you know what she sounds like because you hear this voice whenever she is angry.
-Jasmine is taking the mic off. She’s done. She is breaking stuff. Talking in crazy neighbor voice. Now she wants out. What do these people do in real life pressure situations? This is an inconsequential show, but if she had a real problem how does she react? Like when she has to tell her boyfriend she cheated on him how loud will she scream?
-Jonna is being really sensitive to Jasmine’s plight. I think she is hoping she leaves so one of her friends can show up. Ayiiia and Emilee aren’t going to be any better than Jasmine. Did you watch Cutthroat Jonna? They were both gone with a quickness.
-Leave it to Evan to fix everything. But there is no fixing crazy neighbor Jasmine. Even as he is bringing her back she is still yelling. I hope Evan is billing these two for the therapy. Unrelated note, Jonna is looking like 70s Pam Grier tonight. Another unrelated note, Jasmine is about as big as the baby in Evan’s belly.
-Against the Current tonight. They have to paddle upstream then bomb the rapids and pass the finish line. The against the current time is deducted from the time to the finish line. Whatever, who cares? Be fast and you win. I just want to see some people beef it in the water.
-CT and Adam are first. We could be seeing the groundwork being laid for a skull crushing and tasting here. CT looked pissed at Adam. CT is yelling at Adam to paddle while it looks like Adam is just splashing the water. But they make it thru and it seems that CT has calmed down and wants Adam to be his friend. And not crush and eat his skull.
-Jonna and Jasmine are going to the JUNGLE I’m guessing. I think the boat weighs more than those two combined. Plus if they don’t win they’re going to be voted in anyway.
-Adam and Leroy are going down the rapids backwards and take a tumble out of the boat. Still not impressive. But I like how these guys just don’t rock the boat and ride the wave to get closer to the finals. But I can assure you they will be going to the JUNGLE next week unless they win the challenge.
-Jenn says paddling upstream isn’t that difficult. Seriously? Looks pretty difficult to me. Maybe that’s cause I’m breathing heavy just typing. Wait…am I typing that again? Why am I not deleting this? Go on to the next paragraph please.
-Evan and Nehemiah are not going to get $2k. Bad gameplan and bad teamwork. It’s not like these guys hate each other to the point of fighting one another, but I can tell Nehemiah just really dislikes Evan as a human being. This will end badly I’m sure of it.
-Sarah is trying to get the fierce competitor Katelynn pumped up for this challenge. You don’t have to pump her up…she’s a fierce competitor. Sarah is a woman alone on that team, let’s be real. The only way it could have been worse is if she was teamed with Shauvon. Now THAT woulda been cool.
